HELLO. GOODBYE.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Dear Diary...

It's been awhile now...
and prelims are finally over..
but that also means that its our last lap before the A's...
and im still playing everyday, slacking off, carving A's.....
and guess what..
1st sept i have to report to sembawang naval base at like 730am?
wth la how to reach there sia.. i dun even know where it is..
and i dont have any form of entertainment to keep myself ENTERTAINED
for the whole naval diver's test.. =.=
sly took 11 hours before he was out....
how long will i take? lols.
cant bring phone in...... what else do i have as entertainment?
anyone can lend me some... FUN stuff to play with for that day? ><
hais... i hate sleeping..
because everyday, i dream of the same things over, and over again...
and when i finally wake up, i realise that all these are just in my head...
if we only dream of what we want the most,
then i guess that everyday, i want you to be with me....
but whenever i wake up, i'm all alone in my bedroom again.
and i realise that im back here, where Life is taking it's toll on me for 18 years, and counting.
I want out.. now...
enough of all these.... i never really had what i wanted in life...
why can't we just run away to a place where there is no reality like there is here?
where we can just sit there and not worry about tomorrow...
to lie down there under the skies and gaze upon the stars...
where the moon would show a smile with blinking eyes and glitter all over the sky...
where life, would then be defined as "you and i".
a place where i can just wake up and know that you're there by my side..
to watch the sunrise on your face.
to know that i'll be prepared for anything because i finally knew how it felt to hold you.
so that just before i die, i know that i don't have to wonder how it feels to hold you anymore.

but thats just a world parallel to ours...
where in ours, L.I.F.E. simply means that
when you open up your heart and mind,
you'll be saying "Look, It's F*cking Empty!"
because we will never get what we really want but what we never really asked for.
where you know that there is nothing to keep within our hearts
because we'll never get a chance to come across something worth a place in our hearts.
because all I'll ever keep in my heart is you... but you're never here...

Yours
JiaHua
I can't tell you what it really is; I can only tell you what it feels like.
And right now, it's a knife in my windpipe.

hello goodbye; 1:21 PM

Friday, August 20, 2010

Dear diary

Okay today was econs p1 and phy p2....
econs wasnt really good.. cus i know i cant finish it..
and then it was time for phy.. chiong the SPA task design first..
then do the rest.
do until no time
kns... got qn 6,7,8, i left 15 mins..
so i do.. qn 6... do until left 7 min... then i see.. got last part.
KNS so complicating dowan do.
SKIP.
then reach qn 7... i didnt even read the info. i just jump to the qn..
chiong
finish liao then left like 2min
chiong qn 8....
its a DRQ... and i didnt read the info.. i just chiong the qn. LOL.
end up still cant finish zzzzz
oh well...
im sick still == it sucks..

Yours
JiaHua

hello goodbye; 8:13 PM

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Dear diary

okay im back lols finally
and im sick.... zzzzz
tmr is physics and econs... gg liao.. almost all my subjects v lousy now.. hais.....

night nights sd...

Yours
Jia Hua
sighs* i really wanted you and me

hello goodbye; 9:55 PM

Friday, August 13, 2010

Dear Diary

I think i'm falling ill.....

Yours
JiaHua

hello goodbye; 7:35 PM

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Dear diary,

I lie awake again.
My body's feeling paralysed
i can't remember when i didn't live through this disguise.
Those words you said to me, they couldn't set me free
and now I'm stuck here in this life i didn't ask for.
There must be something more,
do we know what we're fighting for?
breathe in, breathe out.
breathe in, breathe out.
And all these masks we wore
We never knew what we had in store
breathe in, breathe out.
breathe in, breathe out.

Today was just another day, emotionless and stale.
Everytime i try to reach you i always seem to fail.

And so you stand there,
and you pray for god to see,
but the only one you have to be
honest to is me.

You are a drug; i cannot quit you.
You are a drug; i'm still lonely with you.
You're not in love, but i still need to
hold on to you. What have i gotten into?

sorry I'm just feeling down again like i always do
And i cant sleep. Sighs.
how i wish someone could take all these pain away.
take me away.

yours
Jiahua

hello goodbye; 11:39 PM

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Dear diary

i'm sorry i cant fall asleep right now
So i decided to write to you...
I know you cant write back, but sometimes you're all i've got...
I'm tired of feeling so alone when i need someone to talk to...
i just wish someone out there could hear me when i'm screaming for help all alone here.
I miss grandpa and i miss you...
Why must i force myself to sleep when it hurts so bad?
Why cant anyone hear me crying alone over here?
Where were you when i needed you the most,
When everything was falling apart?
And now when i'm holding my tears back as i lie in bed, what are you doing?
I need you here right now... But that "right now" isnt coming...
You're never here.
And then they blame me for all the things that i do when it hurts so bad...
I remember how my ex would tell me that everything will be alright...
But now "everything will turn out fine" ain't gonna happen in this world.

Yours
Jiahua

I miss you, want you, need you.

hello goodbye; 12:07 AM

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Dear Diary

okay i know i never post for quite some time.... but oh well..
busy man here la.. okay. sorry. lols

anyways friday was thanksgiving..... reach school early to study...
then came morning assembly.. stupidity...
waste time watch them march == JC liao leh pls la
lols anyways. jingyi recieved a rose.. (not from sly LOL!)
indri also recieved a rose (also not from sly.... HAHA!)
alisa also recieve rose! (aww so sweet)
then go to hall and start screaming
WOOOT
miss kwan is..... BRITNEY SPEARS!!!!
omgwtf scream my lungs out..
til i no voice sia.....
zzzzzzzzz then go have dinner with 1s14'09...
Class of 6....
LOL! wth la 6 ppl nia......
go eat KFC.. eat already the auntie keep kpkb say she want to close shop blah blah
so noisy keep mumbling to herself..
zzzz CLASS BONDING CANNOT AH?
WAITING FOR PPL ALSO CANNOT AH?
lols.. :X
then nvm lor go liao.. go home... SO TIRED....
sleeeepss (:
then yesterday was like.... go to school for math test....
awww so sweet i got morning call! (:
then go study awhile... then go out x)
then go home!
today was... totally... GREAT :D
lalalas (:
just came home from table tennis with my dad (:
the last ball i pwned him totally..
i smash and hit the corner of the table... :D
then the ball go inside drain ):
oh well... then go home le (:
write to you some time soon (i hope (: )
o'right.....
bye (:

Yours
Jia Hua

If it's really true, I hope you stay happy
I know I'm not the only one, so I hope he can take care of you.

hello goodbye; 9:27 PM

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dear Diary

okay i know i long time never talk to youuuu.. but hi.. (:
last sat was WILL Run.... run til leg pain.. cheer so hard for baby..
oh well.
anyways. next..... i ran like.... 13 rounds or sth la...
and the day before that i already sick... LOL.
so run finish even more sick.. stupidity..
go home sick.. cant talk also.. cant move... then fever....
then went to grandma's birthday! (:
okay it was rather boring but yea........ it was grandma's birthday no matter.. so i enjoyed it..
(:
okay whats next? my sister and the cousins went to kbox after that.. and i went home to sleeeeep

okay whats next? hmmm... sunday didnt do anything at all.
stay home.... stupidity.....
then all the way till tuesday i still sick...
oh well... being sick SUCKS...
now still got flu and coughhhh but not sick lols.
everyday still stay back till 9 to study.. lols....
but everyday can't wake up!!! alarm clock ring i still off and sleep! omg everyday
almost late. lols... i need someone to give me morning call. ><

anyways life's f*cking bad for me..... dont bullsh*t me i promise i'll hit you.

Yours
JiaHua

hello goodbye; 9:10 PM