HELLO. GOODBYE.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Dear Diary...

It's been awhile now...
and prelims are finally over..
but that also means that its our last lap before the A's...
and im still playing everyday, slacking off, carving A's.....
and guess what..
1st sept i have to report to sembawang naval base at like 730am?
wth la how to reach there sia.. i dun even know where it is..
and i dont have any form of entertainment to keep myself ENTERTAINED
for the whole naval diver's test.. =.=
sly took 11 hours before he was out....
how long will i take? lols.
cant bring phone in...... what else do i have as entertainment?
anyone can lend me some... FUN stuff to play with for that day? ><
hais... i hate sleeping..
because everyday, i dream of the same things over, and over again...
and when i finally wake up, i realise that all these are just in my head...
if we only dream of what we want the most,
then i guess that everyday, i want you to be with me....
but whenever i wake up, i'm all alone in my bedroom again.
and i realise that im back here, where Life is taking it's toll on me for 18 years, and counting.
I want out.. now...
enough of all these.... i never really had what i wanted in life...
why can't we just run away to a place where there is no reality like there is here?
where we can just sit there and not worry about tomorrow...
to lie down there under the skies and gaze upon the stars...
where the moon would show a smile with blinking eyes and glitter all over the sky...
where life, would then be defined as "you and i".
a place where i can just wake up and know that you're there by my side..
to watch the sunrise on your face.
to know that i'll be prepared for anything because i finally knew how it felt to hold you.
so that just before i die, i know that i don't have to wonder how it feels to hold you anymore.

but thats just a world parallel to ours...
where in ours, L.I.F.E. simply means that
when you open up your heart and mind,
you'll be saying "Look, It's F*cking Empty!"
because we will never get what we really want but what we never really asked for.
where you know that there is nothing to keep within our hearts
because we'll never get a chance to come across something worth a place in our hearts.
because all I'll ever keep in my heart is you... but you're never here...

Yours
JiaHua
I can't tell you what it really is; I can only tell you what it feels like.
And right now, it's a knife in my windpipe.

hello goodbye; 1:21 PM